New Life

I've always been hesitant in talking about my involvement in the LDS church, and part of that is because I've been in and out of activity for practically my whole adolescence. Yes, I was physically active in the church; I went to church every week and to activities but I didn't believe it. Because of this, many of the friends I made weren't affiliated with the church, or didn't live up to church standards. It was awkward talking about the church with them because I was afraid that they wouldn't like me if I decided to be religious again. I loved them and I still love them, but I was afraid of their judgement. More than that, I was afraid that they would think that I was judging them because we had different lifestyles.

In this day and age, being religious is not very fashionable. It excludes many fashionable activities, and I didn't want to be excluded. In the back of my head I knew that life (partying, drugs, sex, etc.) was wrong for me, and when I finally got over my fears of disappointing my friends, I turned my life around. 

 But it isn't that easy, is it? There were still people who thought I was anti-LDS and anti-organized religion. If they saw that I was suddenly religious again, it would just feed the "Utah Mormon" stereotype of being hypocritical and sanctimonious. 

So I just kept it to myself. I wanted to talk about it on social media and to everyone I met but I was so afraid of being unfashionable and judged that I couldn't. 

When I went on my Bolivia Humanitarian trip this summer, that's when I really changed. Yes, I learned about gratitude and service and my testimony was strengthened in so many ways, but the most and greatest of all was the personal revelation I received that I need to serve a mission. 

And then I realized that I can't hide anymore.

So here I am. I turn in my papers in a week and I couldn't be more excited. This blog is a record of my adventures for the next few months before my mission. Yes, I will be talking about the church and religion, because that's what makes me happy and what makes me who I am.

And I'm not ashamed. 

And I'm not afraid.

This is my new life, and I want to share it.